


Terrors of the Night (Solace of Your Hold)

by messedup



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26497720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedup/pseuds/messedup
Summary: Ben keeps having terrible nightmares but of course, Callum is there to comfort him and to patiently wait until he´s ready to talk.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	Terrors of the Night (Solace of Your Hold)

**Author's Note:**

> For a lovely nonnie on tumblr who prompted me to write this as well as everyone else who has sent me sweet messages about my writing lately. Without you, this fic would have probably sat in my drafts for another few months, with me too insecure to post it.
> 
> This fic is part of a collab with the incredibly talented @khanthasmin on tumblr! So another big thank you to you Camille for all your patience as well as your encouragement <3 Please please please go check out her incredible work here: https://khanthasmin.tumblr.com/post/629439646315757568/terrors-of-the-night-solace-of-your-hold-by

It had happened so often by now that it didn`t even come as a surprise no more.

Callum was stirred from his sleep by sudden noises in the usually completely silent darkness of their bedroom. On a normal weekday night, when the streets were almost empty and with barely any noise coming from outside, his deep sleep was rarely disturbed. 

Lately, it had happened a lot more though. He would wake up to Ben tossing and turning next to him, distressed mumbling an indicator for the horrors he was facing in his sleep.

Blinking his eyes open sleepily, Callum could make out Ben´s figure in the dark. In his sleep, he had rolled away from him. Out of reach. Instead of wrapped up in his arms the way they had fallen asleep only a few hours earlier he was now on the far side of the mattress, looking almost like he might fall out of bed if he continued to squirm around for even a little longer.

Callum quickly wiped over his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up, then shuffled over to him on the bed. He knew touching Ben was a gamble since sometimes it only startled him even more. If he was too deep into a nightmare, the unexpected feeling could fuel whatever his mind was conjuring up. Still, Callum didn´t really have a choice but to risk it because Ben wasn´t calming down on his own, on the opposite really - he seemed to get more and more agitated by the second.

So Callum reached out, lightly squeezing his shoulder.

“Hey, hey.”, he said when Ben finally jerked awake, his eyes frantically searching his surroundings. He carefully raised a hand to Ben´s cheek, fingers framing his face and gently urging him to focus on him.

When he did, he let out a sigh of relief.

He _was_ distant today though, pulling away the tiniest bit from Callum's touch. Callum didn´t take it personal, however. As much as he would have liked to hold him, this was not about him. It was about being there for Ben and doing what would actually bring him comfort, not pushing for physical ways to comfort him. He knew Ben needed space. So he gave it to him, shuffling back on the bed again, onto his own side.

Keeping his eyes on him, he watched every detail of his face though, studying the slightest changes in his expression in an attempt to figure out his state of mind.

Ben didn't say anything. It seemed like he was still processing the dream.

So Callum didn't say anything either for a while, letting him think without disturbance.

The room had by now become uncomfortably warm and it almost appeared like all the air had been sucked out of it through Ben's frantic breaths. It was stuffy and the smell of sweat didn't make it any better.

Callum got up and crossed the room to open the window.

The fresh gust of air was cool on his skin and very much welcomed. A second later, he could hear a small sigh of relief coming from Ben as well.

Turning around again Callum looked at him for second until their eyes met.

"Can I get you something to drink?", he asked, his signs clear now in the pale light of the moon that fell on him.

Ben nodded weakly.

He hurried to get a glass, making sure the water was cool, and quickly slipped back into their room. Somehow, even though he knew Ben needed some space he didn´t want to fully leave him alone for too long.

“Here you go.”, he said as he handed him the drink.

Ben gave him a small smile in thanks, emptying almost all of the water in one go. Setting the glass down on his nightstand he let himself sink back into his pillow.

Callum sat down on top of the blanket on his side of the bed, picking at the sheet as he considered whether he should break the silence or give Ben a little bit more time. Finally, he nudged him. It took two times before Ben reacted, blinking a few times as he was brought out of his thoughts.

"You wanna tell me what this one was about?", Callum asked. Though, if he was honest, he didn't really expect an answer.

For all the times this had happened over the last few weeks, Ben had always been too closed off to talk about whatever it was that was haunting him. He had always declined the offer, the first few times rushing away with some excuse of needing some fresh air or the loo or whatever - anything to divert the question. And although he had become a little more open, now only giving a tiny shake of his head but staying put instead of getting out of the room as quickly as possible, it was still a no.

Callum would just have to keep asking. Not in a way to push him - but to make sure to remind him that the offer stood. To make sure that Ben knew he was by his side, always, that he cared and wanted to help.

Ben swallowed hard, his eyes flicking back and forth as he fixed his eyes on some spot at the ceiling.

"I - I can't."

The words were pressed out, still sounded so quiet and hollow that it pained Callum to hear all the emotions behind them. His gaze turned down once again, watching his hands as they gripped onto the blanket.

Callum placed a hand ever so lightly against his chest, an indicator for Ben to look at him.

"It's okay.", he said when he finally did. "As long as you know I'm here to listen, whenever you are ready."

He knew in the relative darkness of the corner of their room where their bed was placed and with the tears pooling in Ben's eyes he probably had a hard time making out his words even though he did make sure to speak particularly clearly, but Ben gave no sign for him to repeat himself. From the way his jaw clenched and a single tear spilled and rolled down his cheek, Callum was sure he must have gathered the gist of what he had said.

Wiping the tear away didn't do much good because soon more followed. The gentle gesture made Ben falter though, and he curled up on himself, his hand gripping into Callum's shirt, a sign he could do with a hug after all now.

\---

It was three more nights like this, with little to no changes. Three more shakes of his head at the offer to listen. Many more tears and hours spend with Callum trying his best to soothe him.

Only the fourth time it was different.

Callum didn't see it coming, the untypically long hesitation that followed his question. He didn't think that time would go any other way than all the times before. Of course, he asked anyway, just in case.

It was one of those nightmares that left Ben not shrinking away from touch. Instead, he was downright clingy, craving the closeness like Callum's arms around him and the beating of his heart against his cheek were the only things keeping him sane. Like his hold grounded him in reality, kept him from drifting off to the depths of his mind again.

He swallowed heavily when Callum let his fingers thread through his hair and reminded him he was there to listen, whatever was going on. 

And something had clicked, broke the dam and made him open up.

Callum did listen. He didn´t interrupt, didn´t judge and Ben was grateful for it. Somehow it had managed to lift so much weight off his shoulder that he was surprised by how much lighter he felt. 

It was only when everything was out in the open and Ben felt all the more vulnerable for it that Callum spoke. He always seemed to have a way of saying all the right things and it was strange how quickly he could pick up the pieces and put him back together. 

Ben still felt like he was barely held together but Callum´s arms wrapped more tightly around him and he thought that maybe he could hang on for a little while longer.

That maybe he would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Feedback is always very welcome :)
> 
> Don't forget to check out Camille's amazing work <3  
> Link: https://khanthasmin.tumblr.com/post/629439646315757568/terrors-of-the-night-solace-of-your-hold-by


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